I’m trying to be philosophical about it. I agree with others who say that saying goodbye after visits is so heartbreaking. Like the idea of a group. She did tell us she wants to stay the extra few months her visa allows to travel after September. But Tom had other ideas. You cannot make your mom feel better. When she started school, our responsibilities became more and more involved, etc. Whatever the case, you rendered it totally ineffective, and I hope this lady wasn’t sent over the edge by it. You’re not alone. Good luck to you. I feel so lost and have a constant ache in my stomach. I moved away from all my kids a few years ago but I always came back and visited I only moved 2 1/2 hours away but I was also in a relationship that brought me to Kansas part time for a month here in there and then I will come back so I would stay with my kids but now I’m moving back to where my kids live which is Broward County Florida and just found out my middle child who is one of my daughters is moving to North Georgia and she has to my grandkids ages one and four and I’m devastated. That is a seriously long distance relationship, of course you already know this. You don’t have kids so that your life won’t change. And like most of you, the few times every year we get together are definitely a highlight for me. I have 1 child that lives close and 2 that live away. I’m experiencing cold sweats, difficulty catching my breath and bouts of crying. Just the opposite. So it is just that I have paid a high price for my wrongs and the pain I caused my ex-wife. Well, I don’t know whether this is still active or not. What do we do? All Rights Reserved. And this may sound a bit crazy, but part of me doesn’t want to visit because it is so difficult for me to leave them. I have not been able to talk to anyone with crying. Everything you said is what I have been going through. The kids didn’t want to live there. They just get backed up like a clogged drain. My husband and other children, along with myself are DEVASTATED. My son, the 19 year old is moving down the road, really a drive away. My husband is disabled, hypoxic brain damage and I now have reduced hours to part time. Copyright © 2020 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes. I’m so missing my son and he lives close by. They really are going to move. Sometimes, she didn’t go home on the weekends, she stayed for a few weeks. Remind her the best is yet to come and she will be there and part of it to celebrate more good times with you. But we have much better career options here for both of us and frankly make so much more money and I feel like I need this money to be able to provide a better life for my baby. So glad I found this site and I’m not the only pitiful parent missing my kids. It’s no one’s fault; they both work full time and are in serious relationships with wonderful ladies. My daughter whom I’m very close to is choosing to live over 3,000km away from home with no family where she is, just friends. I was very involved in their school and extracurricular activities. Mary, good luck to you as well. For 3 years there was coming and gut-retching goings, until I made the hard decision to move where they live. Reading all these posts has helped me realize I am not alone. Keep trying. My son is 16, and his girlfriend's father is keeping them apart. I am looking into rentals or to buy something inexpensive so I can go live there in the winter. etc. I feel like all of the joyful parts of parenting are over. I believe it is time to move to a smaller place and start new memories, it is just to hard to look around and see them everywhere but not here. Abelacademics@aol.cm, I’m 57, I have six grown kids- four girls, two boys- they are all on their own, youngest who is 22 now moved out a year or so ago- I have three daughters and the youngest son who live in the same large city that I do, along with four grands with oldest daughter- another daughter is across the country, and oldest son is across the country as well. Don’t pressure them with questions or comments about the other parent. Now, with the pandemic, I’ve had him home again for the last 2 months and it has been an unexpected blessing to be able to enjoy his company again. Survival instinct kicked in.